A Dream Remembered

Don't

By: Jewel

Don't walk to close

Don't breathe so soft

Don't talk so sweet

Don't sing

Don't lay, oh so near

Please, don't let me fall in love with you again!

Please, let me forget

All those sweet smiles

All of the passion

All of the peace, the heat, the pain

All those blue skies

Where you're words were my freedom

Please, don't let me fall in love with you again!

Too many times

I've cared too much

I stood on the edge

And saw that you held my hand

And knowing too well

I couldn't hide from those eyes

Please, don't let me fall in love with you again!

It's kinda funny how dreams can sneak up on you and make you feel things that you've felt in the past and remember things you've tried to forget. It's weird how they can be so real you never want them to end. But I know this dream isn't real and will never be real...

I'm writing about this dream because it won't go away. It haunts me everytime I close my eyes. It crosses my mind at various points of the day and has me to the brink of tears at times. I know people are going to read it and they might get mad or they might not. I want to let them know that I'm only writing about it because if I write about it maybe it will go away. Maybe I needed to tell people my dream to let it go. I hope they see it as I do and think nothing of it. Names will not be said. Perhaps, it's just a dream...

My Dream:

It's late...or early depending on how you look at it. He gets home from being out...I'm there when he gets home...I'm on the couch, sleeping. I hear him come in but don't wake up completely. I hear him move around then feel him place a blanket over top of me and I gently smile in sleep and snuggle into the blanket...Then he settles on the same couch that I am on and he turns on the TV. Then I remember why I'm there. I'm there babysitting and I remember that his child is sleeping in his child's room and my daughter is fast asleep on the other couch. I hear him sigh and finally not finding anything interesting on the TV he gets up and moves into his room and gets himself ready to go to sleep as well...I snuggle a little more into the blanket and fall farther into sleep...I wake in the early morning and sit up and wonder why I have a blanket on me. Then remembering he put it there...I smile. I wonder why he didn't wake me to let me know he was home and that I could leave. I sigh and get up stretching and yawning. I think to myself "I need coffee." and wonder if he'd like some too. I move into the kitchen and find everything to make the coffee. I make the coffee and move back into the living room. I tidy up the living room making sure the toys that were out on the floor were picked up and then I fold my blanket and place it on the couch... I then stand there for a minute not knowing what to do next. I figure to maybe try to wake him up so I can get ready to leave and have a cup of coffee before I go. I walk towards his room and the door is slightly open. I put my hand on the door knob and slowly open the door. I see him there in his bed and again I smile. He's, at least, shirtless... I walk slowly and quitely to the side of the bed...I gently say his name trying to wake him. He shifts but doesn't wake up. Then I say his name again and nothing happends...So I sit slowly on the edge of his bed and place my hand on his exposed shoulder and gently shake him and say his name again. He shifts again and is awake. He then reaches out to me and takes my hand and pulls me closer to him. He mumbles "Lay with me." I was not sure what to do so I lay down with him facing him. I look at his face and he's smiling with his eyes shut. He sighs and then places his arm around me and snuggles closer to me then places his head under my chin. I can feel his breath there and it tickles me. My heart is beating about as fast as it could. Then he did the unexpected...He kisses my neck and starts to trail up to my chin and farther up to my lips...Not knowing what to do or say...It was like I couldn't speak or breathe...After he kissed me gently on the lips I pull back and slowly open my eyes...He's there staring at me confused. I knew what he was thinking in the moment. He was thinking I was his girlfriend..."Sorry," I say and I sigh, close my eyes, and slowly turn to get out of his bed and leave his room..."Wait..." he said and grabs my arm...I turn back to him and I feel tears threatening to fall. He looks at me and into my eyes. A tear gently slips down my cheek and he gently pulls me back to sitting on his bed. He reaches up and touches my face with his hand and slowly wipes the tear from off my cheek. "I'm sorry..."He said. He sighs and sits up. He looks at me and pulls me into a hug. "I didn't mean to do that. I'm so sorry." he said hugging me tighter. "I thought you were..." he stopped because I had pulled out of his embrace and said "you thought I was her..." Another tear slipping down my cheek was caught by him and his hand stayed on my cheek. He looked into my eyes and slowly got closer to me. I closed my eyes to get away from his stare then I felt his other hand on the other side of my face and then his soft lips were on mine again...I broke the kiss..." I don't think we should..." I said. "Shh..." He said cutting me off. And he moved back into kissing me. Laying me gently back on the bed with him. Never stopping the kiss. "I've missed kissing you! Your lips are so soft..." He said. And with that his hands were on my body. "I've missed the feel of your body under me..." He said. I sighed and looked up at him. Seeing the passion in his eyes I knew he wanted more then just my kiss. And I was conflicted. I didn't know what to do...a part of me wanted to push him off me and run and the other wanted to feel what it was like to be with him again...Then I felt him start to pull my shirt over my head. It was completely off when I looked him in the eye again..."I don't think we should be doing this again..." I said feeling stupid because I knew I would never be able to be here in this moment with him again. He slowly backed away from me and then I looked him in the eyes and thought to myself "Screw it! This is worth all the hurt it will cause me later..." I grabbed him and pulled him down on top of me kissing him roughly. I push him gently away but only to get the rest of my clothes off...He looked at me and smiled wickedly and kissed me roughly back and his hands found my body again and they found places I never knew I had...We make love for hours and after it was all over and after I thoroughly enjoyed myself we laid there holding each other. "I just wanted to say earlier when I woke you was I made coffee..." I giggled. We then got dressed and went into the kitchen and got our coffee. Then he asked me "Do you want to help me make breakfast? Since the children should be getting up pretty soon." I looked him in the eye and smiled "Sure! What are we making??" We made pancakes, bacon and more coffee...He held me most of the time kissing me when he felt the need to and looking into my eyes when he got the chance...I spent the morning blushing...Then as if it was an ending to a dream the children did wake up and we had our breakfast and I helped clean up after everyone was done and I pulled him into the bathroom just to hug and kiss him again before me and my daughter went home...And with those last kisses and that last hug the dream was over...

Hopefully this works...and hopefully no one is offended by it... I just need to get it out of my head! It was just so real. Hopefully it's only just a dream!